


Headwind

by Romerillo



Series: Invitation To A Beheading [3]
Category: CLAMP - Works, Tokyo Babylon, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: F/F, M/M, Probably not how Nabokov intended his work to be used, Subaru's miserable life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 00:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14032383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romerillo/pseuds/Romerillo
Summary: Kotori believes in fighting fate. Subaru accepts his own.





	Headwind

“ _He stood up and took off the dressing gown, the skullcap, the slippers. He took off the linen trousers and shirt. He took off his head like a toupee, took off his collarbones like shoulder straps, took off his rib cage like a hauberk. He took off his hips and his legs, he took off his arms like gauntlets and threw them in a corner. What was left of him gradually dissolved, hardly coloring the air.”_ \--Vladimir Nabokov, Invitation to a Beheading

 

A bird lands on Kotori's shoulder and whispers something into her ear. Kamui is surprised that she can still speak to plants and animals. -That bird said something is coming my way- Kotori says -I've been getting a lot of warnings lately, even the flowers are upset when I pass by...-

She wonders if her heart condition has worsened, and by the way Kamui's face upsets she's probably made him worry. -But don't worry about it Kamui-chan, um, want to go for ice-cream again? Or something else? Have your tastes changed? I can't believe I don't know what you like anymore- She looks so embarrassed that Kamui can't help but laugh, only Kotori would stress over something like that.

But his good humor doesn't last, remembering Kotori's destiny. He lets her take him to the nearest ice-cream shop, chatting and teasing him as if he hadn't been away from Tokyo for all these years. He enjoys the moment while he can, knowing that things will never be the same between the three of them again.

Kotori knows they never will. Even as she sees the future in dreams she wishes things could be like before. Fuuma and Kamui would play together with her, they'd protect each other and never worry about destinies or the end of the world. She feels herself drown inside her own mind, surrounded by cloaked figures. Whatever she does will determine who will be under those cloaks. The hooded figures sink back into the water, awaiting for her decision. Waiting for what will determine the future of the Earth.

The world will end. Kamui will die. Kotori can feel it, but if they will shatter she’d rather it be her instead.

Kotori choses to shatter than to crash into the Earth. She choses to die for the person she loves, like her mother did. Her mother, whom she had found completely dismembered, the walls had been painted in her blood, and her torso had been ripped open as if something had burst out from inside of her.

Her head had been detached.

Like mother like daughter. Kotori dies for the one she loves, happy that she can take his place. Even as Kamui cradles her head, crying. Fuuma has betrayed them, Kotori has died and Kamui is heart-broken, but he will rise and defend humanity. He will live.

Kotori feels herself slipping away from existence, her wings will take her far away from here. Before she leaves she tells Kakyo the future isn’t decided. He realizes destiny can be fought by people like Kotori, savior of the Earth, beheaded by her brother, mourned by her lover. The Kamui of the Dragons of Earth choses to ignore her words, he knows the future has been decided, but her death brings the Dragons of Heaven closer.

Six people come together, worried over their Kamui’s loss. Some of them never even knew Kotori yet they’re crying. Once Subaru saves Kamui from his comma they all gather to prey for Kotori, even if not all of them have the same religion. They’re all together and they will all fight for humanity, for Kamui.

Kotori smiles down at them from the heavens.

 

* * *

 

Subaru calmly accepts his fate, it's his destiny to take Seishiro's place in the Dragons of Earth. He has lost Seishiro, but he'll continue being the Sakurazukamori. Seishiro's spirit will live on inside him.

The Kamui of the Dragons of of Earth destroys the area where Kotori was buried and Subaru can't help but go to the place where it all started, when he had been a Dragon of Heaven.

Kamui is already there, his pain intensifying when he catches sight of Subaru. Another person he's lost.

-Subaru-ku-- Kamui stops, realizing this isn't the same Subaru. He's different, even more lovely and delicate than before, but he's an assassin and an enemy now. Reminding Subaru that he's a Sumeragi right now would be too callous. Calling him Sakurazukamori would be too harsh however, so he settles for -Sakurazuka-san-

That seems to *please* Subaru, making him finally show emotion for the first time in a while -Sakurazuka-san, huh?- He tests the words in his mouth, taking an immediate liking to them -It's like we're married-

Kamui squashes the wave of pity he feels -You didn't have to take his place...Kotori said the future wasn't decided-

-She died so others wouldn't- Subaru says, his voice soft and completely devoid of emotion -But I have to keep Seishiro alive, his power is in me...- He touches his hand to the eye Seishiro left for him -The Sakurazukamori can only be killed by the person they love, there will be no other after me....I will keep his spirit alive until the end of the world-

Kamui covers his desire to cry with anger -Maybe you're the best onmyouji around but Kotori was stronger than you, she had a weak body but a strong spirit, she preferred to die rather than cause harm to the Earth, yet you simply bowed down to becoming the next Sakurazukamori-

-You're right- Subaru whispers, kneeling in front of Kotori's cracked gravestone -I'm not Subaru anymore, I'm not Hokuto's twin or Seishiro's beloved, I'm not really a Sakurazuka or a Dragon of Earth, there's nothing left of me, only a name, Sakurazukamori, the rest of me is gone- Kotori had something to protect, but Subaru has nothing left.

The tears Kamui has been holding back finally escape. He doesn't know what to do, Subaru will never be happy, so he says the only thing that will affect him:

-Sakurazuka-san...-

Subaru's emerald eyes brighten, his lips *almost* curl into a smile -A Sumeragi renouncing his surname for their enemy's is almost as scandalous as one becoming the Sakurazukamori, there's no bigger irony- Subaru removes his glove, kissing the star he’d carved into his hand after the original disappeared -Subaru Sakurazuka…- He keeps repeating it, loving how it sounds.

Kamui wonders if this could be him if he loses the rest of the Dragons of Heaven, if he loses Fuuma again. Fate is cruel, and there’ll have to be more sacrifices like Kotori’s to change it, but he’ll fight so his own doesn't turn out like Subaru's.

A bird lands on his shoulder, whispering into his ear, and he knows it’s Kotori telling him to hang on.

 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the last in this series, it's kind of ironic since in Invitation to a Beheading the dude just walks away during his own execution and doesn't get decapitated, or he leaves his physical body behind, or something.  
> I had fun making these though, these three fandoms were what got me into manga back when I was eleven and they'll always be an inspiration for me.


End file.
